Is this a deal breaker? We are both mids, have already had our families, have each had substantial therapy, and now have a loving relationship based on sincere open and honest communication. Now, years later, his not-yet-ex has calmed down but is still a loose cannon. Your comfort should mean more to him than his fear of causing trouble with his ex. She has the big house and all the trappings of a suburban housewife without letting on to the rest of the world what is really happening. Or is it ill-fated? How should this relationship look in two years? Should she demand the divorce? We have no plans to get married; we don't even plan to move to one coast or the other. He says being technically married doesn't or shouldn't matter.
If he is waiting for her to make the first move, she has no motivation. This distance is allowing him to avoid his responsibilities and to lie to his ex. Is age relevant here? Despite our pride in our honest, open relationship, he has had a brick wall about this subject until I made an issue of it recently. Meredith, I have been in a long-term, long-distance relationship with someone that I care for deeply. Is this a deal breaker? I want you to ask yourself: Am I making this into too big a deal? If he wants you, he can't be with her -- not in real life, not on paper. My usual reaction would be to cut and run, but everything else is so good with him. Now, years later, his not-yet-ex has calmed down but is still a loose cannon. I truly do not think he would ever go back to his wife. We are both mids, have already had our families, have each had substantial therapy, and now have a loving relationship based on sincere open and honest communication. I'm tired of dating a married man. He has not moved on his divorce, claiming he didn't want "to rock the boat" when he moved out. It's certainly allowing him to remain stagnant with you. It's never going to happen. Tell him that if he doesn't know how to start the process, he should head back to his therapist and yes, pay for a lawyer. Does the distance really work? Every day when he tells me he loves me, in the back of my head I think, " He feels guilty about hurting her feelings. He finally realized that he had to explain himself to me and at least told me of the guilt factor. Why isn't he getting divorced? If the guilt is so strong, why doesn't he make amends? Here's a link for today's chat. Just a little bit? You're dating a married man and you don't like it.
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